Randomness on the Death Star
by Amarwen
Summary: Evil groups, IMing, lost teddybears, fear of pitchforks and wooden stakes. Lets just say the Death Star will never be the same again.
1. EDLA

**Amarwen: Hello and welcome! Today Luke Skywalker will be saying the disclaimer. **

**Luke: Why me?**

**Amarwen: You are the only other person in the room so say it. *Pulls out wooden stake***

**Luke: Fine, Amarwen does not own Star Wars or anything but an evil cat named Sandy. **

Chapter 1: E.D.L.A

Darth Vader was sitting in room 36 on the Death Star. Across the room was Lord Voldemort, Sauron , Saruman and King Galbatorix with his black dragon. He had no clue why he was there but he had gotten a letter earlier that day to be at room 36 at 2:45 and 15seconds.

_Since when was there a room 36?_, he thought to himself.

"Does anyone know why we are here and why we have to wear these stupid nametags?" asked Galbatorix taking off his name tag. Behind him the dragon growled.

"I will tell you why," came a voice from the doorway. A figure dressed in a dark cloak with the hood up walked in.

"AAGGHH! It's the Grim Reaper!" Sauron screamed, while running behind a chair.

"Silence, I'm not the Grim Reaper you moron, I am Darth Sidious. I have called you all here because I am creating a group that will help me gain control of the galaxy."

"Cool, can we have a Facebook group?" asked Voldemort.

"I guess, but later. We shall be called the Evil Dark Lord Association or E.D.L.A for short."

"EAT MUFFINS!" came another voice from the doorway. Standing there was a high school girl with brown eyes and light brown hair. In her hands were some muffins.

"And you are?" Darth Vader asked.

"It doesn't matter, she isn't one of us, now go away before I hurt you!" Darth Sidious said, getting annoyed.

"Now now, Palpatine don't be rude. My name is Amarwen, I am the authoress of this fan fic. I am your worst nightmare, and my friends and I will make your lives a misery. Now I said EAT MUFFINS!" and Amarwen started throwing the muffins at the dark lords. Sauron hid behind Voldemort, who was hiding behind a crying Galbatorix. Amarwen then laughed like a crazy maniac and ran away.

*On the other side of the Death Star*

"Captain where is..."

"NEVER CALL ME PALPATINE!!!"

"Don't worry, found him"

*E.D.L.A headquarters*

"That was odd," commented Voldemort and everyone agreed.

"Now our first task is to..."

"Find my ring" asked Sauron

"Rule Alagaesia?" Asked Galbatorix

"Yum, blueberry muffin." Voldemort said while picking up a muffin.

"No, you nim nuts we will..."

Suddenly Amarwen came running back in with a spork and tennis balls.

"What are they for?" Saruman said in a bored voice.

"They my dear friends are for hunting little pixies."

"You do know pixies don't exist." Palpatine questioned.

"Pulpy, pulpy, pulpy, if they don't exist how could they kidnap my friends?"

"And your friends are...?" Voldemort asked.

"That is none of your business Mouldy Voldy, but since you asked their names are Ahsoka and Nemesis."

"My ex-padawan!" screeched Vader in a very out of character voice.

"Yup, the same. Now if you don't mind I must go save her and Nemesis from the pixies before they are forced to drink tea in tiny little cups and eat cute little cupcake." And she ran off, again.

"Now can I make a Facebook group?"

**Amarwen: I would like to thank Random Nemesis whose story Therapy inspired me to write this. I recommend it to everyone who reads this.**

**Darth Vader: So you saved her and Ahsoka?**

**Ahsoka: *creeps up behind Vader* If she didn't I wouldn't be here.**

**Darth Vader: *screams a girly scream***

**Amarwen: I will now give everyone a question and the first 2 people to get it right shall appear in future chapters.**

**Nemesis: Include your lightsaber colour, description, gender and any random weapon etc you would like to have e.g. I have my pitchfork and Amarwen has her wooden stake. **

**Amarwen: Here it goes: Who are my two fave male characters from Star Wars? Remember only the first 2 correct entries will appear, I will PM you if you get in. **

**Darth Vader: You guys are odd...**

**Amarwen, Nemesis and Ahsoka: YUP!**

**Nemesis:* eats some pie***


	2. Lost Teddy Bears and 600 pies

**Amarwen: Hi, now any volunteers to say the disclaimer, anyone? **

**Wolf: I'll do it if I get pie**

**Amarwen: Fine here's your pie**

**Wolf: *Stuffs face with pie* aurmarman woswent othn swar thraw swar wonlie way wfregie bwraer wailed wfregie.**

**Darth Vader: What?**

**Nemesis: She said Amarwen doesn't own Star Wars only a teddy bear named Teddy.**

**Darth Vader: Oh**

Chapter 2: Lost Teddys and 600 pies

Obi-wan looked in the mirror and studied his face carefully. He was sure he had been dead an hour ago but now he was very much alive and had the face and body he had during the clone wars. The door slid open and 3 girls walked in. One had light brown hair, another had dark blond hair and the other had dirty blond hair. All 3 carried lightsabers and had sticks attached to their belts. They didn't seem to notice him and they started trashing the room.

"I can't find him!" cried the brown haired one.

"I still reckon it was Pulpy," said the dark blond girl

"Ehem" Obi-wan cleared his throat to get the girls attention. They spun around pulling out their lightsabers. One was silver and the other 2 were green.

"Excuse, me ladies, but I'm a little confused. What are you looking for and why am I alive? I was dead just under an hour ago but as you can see I am very much alive."

"Hi I'm Amarwen," said the brown haired girl. "This is Wolf, the dark blond and Nemesis the other."

"The other?" Nemesis said while grabbing a pitchfork.

"Fine, this is Nemesis the crazy person who has had too much sugar."

"Thank you."

"Anyway" said Wolf, "we have lost this teddy bear. His name is Teddy." And she held up a picture with a teddy bear on it.

"Well I haven't seen him, but I will call you if I do. Now do you girls know why I am alive?"

"Sure we do Bob, I am the authoress of this fan fic and we decided to bring you back to make it more interesting." Amarwen explained.

"My name isn't Bob, it's Obi-wan Kenobi. Don't call me that." Obi-wan complained.

"Sure thing Bob."

Everyone froze when Darth Vader's voice came over the loud speaker. "Amarwen, I have your precious Teddy and you will never see him again so HA! That's what you get for ordering 600 pies and forcing me to pay for them in 5 cent coins.

Amarwen grabbed her lightsaber and a wooden stake that had randomly dropped from the sky, then walked off to kill Vader.

"I told you it wasn't Pulpy," Nemesis said then ran away from a very angry Wolf who had her liquorice whip in her hands. Obi-wan watched as the girls disappeared from sight wondering what crazy thing would happen next.

**Wolf:*Still running after Nemesis* Get back here and I will show you what this whip can do.**

**Amarwen:* walks up holding her teddy bear* So what did you think? Tell and I will update soon. Find out if Vader will ever get out of the Medical bay? Will Nemesis survive Wolfs anger? **

**Wolf:*Still chasing Nemesis* She won't; I tell you now!**

**Nemesis: AAGGHHH!!! Get the crazy lady away from me!**

**Amarwen: Remember review and get an imaginary pie**

**Nemesis and Wolf: PIE!**


	3. A Bigger Cupboard

**I would like to thank XxRandom NemesisxX, Unsharpened, Tora Kouchi, Thunderstar29, Stabbythings, Ra'iira The Fiend and Darth Sugar for their reviews on the last chapter. **

**Amarwen: Today the disclaimer will be said by the recently undead Obi-wan Kenobi!**

**Obi-wan: Fine, Amarwen doesn't own Star Wars or Eragon but she does own a stuffed Dragon called Type**

**Pulpy: Type? What kind of name is that? **

**Nemesis: Your one to talk Pulpy.**

**Pulpy: Stop calling me Pulpy!**

Chapter 3: A bigger cupboard

Amarwen was sitting in a broom cupboard with Nemesis, Wolf and Ahsoka discussing a very important issue.

"So," Nemesis said "Its 3 days till Christmas day. Has everyone got the presents?"

Amarwen reached up and a notebook fell randomly from the sky.

"We have presents for everyone but the members of EDLA."

"Ok Wolf have you set up the tree?"

"Tis covered in tinsel."

Suddenly the door burst open and a very tired Luke ran in.

"Hey its Sky Guy 2.0!" cried Ahsoka.

"Help," he panted. "Laia want someone to go Christmas shopping with her. Can I hide here?"

The 4 girls looked at each other for a long moment then they looked back at Luke.

"If you close the door yes," Amarwen said.

Luke walked in and closed the door but a few seconds later the door burst open again. Standing there was a tall boy who looked about 16 with a blue dragon standing behind him.

"HI, I'm Eragon and this is Saphira, where are we?" He said.

Amarwen stood up and walked over to Eragon.

"I'm Amarwen and this is Nemesis, Wold, Ahsoka, Darth Sugar and Luke. And you are on the Death Star."

"I like pie!" yelled Nemesis.

"Would you like to come in?" asked Luke.

"Sure why not?"

They didn't know how but the cupboard was able to fit 4 insane authoresses, 2 Jedi knights, a dragon and her rider. After a while they were joined by Obi-wan and Han. After about 15 min of people hiding in the cupboard the door opened and a very angry Galbatorix stood at the door.

"Please don't tell me you're coming in as well? Its already cramped in here" complained Darth Sugar.

"I thought the Blue dragon and her rider were here," he said, "Join Murtagh and me and we could rule all of Alagaesia."

"Never,"

"Is it me or does this sound like Pulpy and Luke ?" said Obi-wan.

"Don't make me force you Shade slayer!"

"God, this guy doesn't know the meaning of the word no." Ahsoka said as she swung from the roof by her legs, trying to get away from the crowd below.

"Don't make me come in there Eragon!"

"That's it!" Amarwen shouted. "Everyone out! I need to find Vader and tell him to make a bigger cupboard. If he doesn't he will face my wooden stake." And she grabbed he lightsaber and a wooden stake and stormed out of the cupboard.

Wooden stake?Saphira asked with her mind.

"Don't under estimate it." Was all Obi-wan said before everyone left.

**Eragon: Seriously, a stake?**

**Amarwen: *pulls out stake* Want to see what it can do?**

**Saphira: ****Eragon we have more important things to worry about. If Galbatorix has become a member of EDLA then Alagaesia is in danger. We need more help!**

**Suddenly Arya, Nasuada and Murtagh appeared**

**Luke: Well this will be interesting. **


	4. Hello IMing

**Amarwen: Since we have some newcomers to this story one of them will say the disclaimer**

**Eragon: As long as you don't hurt us**

**Amarwen:*Grabs a hat out of no where and put folded pieces of paper in it with the Eragon characters names on it* And the disclaimer will be said by.... drum roll please.**

**Darth Vader:*Drums on desk***

**Amarwen: ... .... ... Dot Dot Dot... .... ... ............... ..............**

**Luke: Just hurry up and say it!**

**Amarwen: Fine! Murtagh!**

**Murtagh:*Grabs piece of paper* It's blank!**

**Amarwen: I know, they all are I was going to pick you anyway.**

**Murtagh: Amarwen doesn't own IM, thank god!**

Chapter 4: Hello IMing

**Amarwen: Fear the wooden stake!**

**Nemesis: TreeHuggingPitchfork**

**Wolf: Jelly Spoons**

**Darth Sugar: Mwhahahahaaaaa**

**Ahsoka: Snips**

**Darth Vader: Sith1237**

**Pulpy: Sith Emperor**

**Obi-wan: Wise Guy**

**Luke: Sky Guy 2.0**

**Sauron: Burning Eye**

**Voldemort: Snaky**

Amarwen took out her laptop and went onto IM. She had showed it to Luke and Eragon yesterday and knowing them they would have told everyone.

_Fear the wooden stake! Has logged on_

_TreeHuggingPitchfork Has logged on_

_Wise Guy Has logged on_

Fear the wooden stake!: The Giant Red Bananas are coming! Nemesis Run!

TreeHuggingPitchfork: I'm Running! AAGGHH!!! Spinning tops of DOOM!

Wise Guy: ...

_Jelly Spoons Has logged on_

Jelly Spoons: I just escaped, they have taken the kitchen!

Fear the wooden stakes! And TreeHuggingPitchfork: Noooo!!!

Wise Guy:...

_Mwhahahahaaaaa Has logged on_

Jelly Spoons: AARRRGGGHHH!!!! They have me! Save yourselves!

_Jelly Spoons Has been disconnected_

TreeHuggingPitchfork: WOLF!!!!

Fear the wooden stake!: She was so young...

Wise Guy: Can someone tell me what is going on?

Mwhahahahaaaaa: Well you see, we got bored and wondered what would happen if we tried to clone bananas.

Fear the wooden stake!: But we sort of spilt some red dye and some random chemicals into it and now there are giant red bananas that have spinning tops of DOOM!

_Jelly Spoons Has been re-connected _

TreeHuggingPitchfork: You live!

Jelly Spoons: All they wanted was some coffee. They have now gone to get Pulpy.

_Sith Emperor Has logged on_

Sith Emperor: Who sent giant red bananas to me?!?

Fear the wooden stake!: Stalker! *Pulls out lightsaber*

Sith Emperor: I'm not stalking you at the moment. I might later. But can someone tell me who sent the bananas after me?

Everyone:*Points at wolf*

Jelly Spoons: Thanks guys *Pulls out liquorice whip*

_Sith1237 Has logged on_

Sith1237: Why are there spinning tops of DOOM! destroying my ship?

Wise Guy: It's best if you don't know.

_Sith1237 Has logged out_

_Sith Emperor Has logged out_

_Fear the wooden stake! Has logged out_

_TreeHuggingPitchfork Has logged out_

_Jelly Spoons Has logged out_

_Mwhahahahaaaaa Has logged out _

**Amarwen: Hey Nemesis!**

**Nemesis: Yes?**

**Amarwen: Did you know there is a Greek Goddess called Nemesis.**

**Luke: Really? **

**Amarwen: Yes. Here's what I found. She is the goddess of divine punishment for wrongdoing.**

**Nemesis: Cool, so I can punish wrong doers. **

**Obi-wan: Sounds like it.**

**Nemesis: *Pulls out pitchfork* Oh Pulpy, you're a wrong doer, come here so I can hurt you!**

**Pulpy: You just had to tell her?**

**Amarwen: Stalker! **


	5. Missing items and the holy rock

**Amarwen: Hello, anyone around?**

***Silence* **

**Amarwen: Hello!**

***Silence***

**Amarwen: I guess I have to say the disclaimer. I don't own Star Wars coz if I did Nemesis, Wolf, Darth Sugar and I would be in it.**

Chapter 5: Missing items and the holy rock

Darth Vader walked down the hall. Someone was going to pay. It was a matter of life and death. He came to the common room door. Everyone was in there except for Amarwen, Wolf, Nemesis and Darth Sugar. He forced blew the door down and walked in.

"Where is it?!?" He yelled.

Suddenly with a loud POP! Amarwen and Nemesis appeared at his side.

"Where's what?" Nemesis asked.

"You know what I'm talking about!"

Obi-wan walked forward, "No we don't."

"Those crazy Authoresses know!"

Just then Wolf and Darth Sugar appeared.

"The hostage is in position," Wolf said

"I knew it was you, Amarwen. Now you and your friends will die!"

Amarwen stepped forward. "Now Darthy, don't be so hasty. Yes we have it and we have it hanging over a bucket of lava, do as we say an it doesn't get hurt. Here you can see it."

As she was talking a large screen TV dropped down from the roof. On the screen you could see a blue blanket hanging over a large bucket of lava.

"Blanky!" Vader whispered and he started to cry. "What did I ever do to

you!"

"A blanket!" laughed Sauron.

Obi-wan sighed. "I thought I told you to get rid of that thing years ago."

"Now turn back to the light!" Nemesis said.

"Fine, just give back my blanky."

This time Murtagh spoke "How can we be sure he isn't lying?"

Suddenly Brom appeared.

"Hey I thought he Ra-zac killed you?" Galbatorix said.

"They did but I met Amarwen and she decided to have me in this fan fic."

"Anyway, back to the case of turning Vader to Anakin. Anakin you must swear on the holy rock that you will never turn back to the dark side or you will be hunted down by the smiley faces and forced to listen to their freakishly happy songs until the flowers decide to grow legs and run around eating the sky. Darth Sugar bring me the holy rock!" Amarwen said.

Darth Sugar ran of and returned a few moments later with a small brown rock.

"That's just an ordinary rock," Luke said when he saw it.

"Shun the non believer!" Wolf yelled.

Darth Sugar walked up to Vader and gave him the rock.

"Now" said Wolf, "Just repeat after me, 'I Darth Vader swear on the holy rock that I will turn back to the light and once again become Anakin Skywalker.'"

"I Darth Vader swear on the holy rock that I will turn back to the light and once again become Anakin Skywalker."

" ' If I ever go back to the dark side I will be hunted down by the smiley faces and forced to listen to their freakishly happy songs until the flowers decide to grow legs and run around eating the sky.'" Continued Wolf.

"If I ever go back to the dark side I will be hunted down by smiley faces and…. What was the rest?"

At that moment in a puff of pink smoke Darth Vader changed back into Anakin, who looked the same as during the clone wars.

"Yay! Anakin's back!" Everyone except for the members of E.D.L.A cheered.

"Great," Said Pulpy, "Now I have to find another apprentice."

**Pulpy: Anyone want to be my apprentice?**

**Luke: No thanks, I'm right.**

**Amarwen: Now in celebration of Anakins return I will ask another question and the first person the get it right will appear in an upcoming chapter. Obi-wan would you like to ask the question?**

**Obi-wan: What is Amarwens favorite colour. Now only one entry per person and include hair and eye colour, light saber colour , your IM name and any other weapon that you might like.**

**Darth Sugar: Your user name will be used except if you ask otherwise and you will have to include the name you want to go by.**

**Anakin: What happened to my blanket? I never got it back!**

**Amarwen, Nemesis, Wolf and Darth Sugar: *Glances at each other* Nothing…**

**Anakin: I have a bad feeling about that word.**


	6. Return of EDLA

**Amarwen: Hi everyone! Now I want someone to say the disclaimer.**

**Pulpy: I want you to go away.**

**Amarwen: And I want a jam and cream doughnut but we can't have everything. Now any volunteers? I know! Hey Jedigal and Ewarni since you guys are new how about you say it?**

**Pulpy: Not more crazy authoress!**

**Jedigal: Amarwen doesn't own Star Wars **

**Ewarni: and she isn't a member of EDLA.**

Chapter 6: EDLA returns

With Darth Vader turned back into Anakin the members of EDLA were in a bit of a situation. Vader had been the second in command and now they faced the task of electing a new second in command.

"Now" said Pulpy, "We need a strong cunning second in command. There is no room for error. You will have the fate of EDLA on you shoulders…. Any volunteers?"

No one wanted to have that sort of responsibility so they decided to draw straws.

"And the new second in command is….. Galbatorix!"

Everyone groaned, this was going to be interesting.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Meanwhile in the common room Amarwen was introducing the two new authoresses to everyone.

"Now everyone this is Jedigal and Ewarni. Say hello." And she pointed at the them. Jedigal had brown hair and brown eyes. While Ewarni had long blonde hair with blue eyes and glasses.

"Hi."

Then Anakin brought up a very important point. "I only thought we were adding in one more authoress?"

Ewarni decided to answer. "Yes, but I'm Amarwen's best friend and she asked today if I wanted to be in it."

"Oh" was all anyone could say.

"Now," said Amarwen, "Today is the 28th of February and this day is special because…?"

Nobody put their hand up, which made Amarwen very unhappy. So unhappy in fact that she stormed out of the room.

"What's her problem?"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Amarwen stormed off to her quarters. How could they forget today? Today was one of the most important days of the year. To her anyway. And if it still isn't obvious, today was Amarwen's birthday.

"If you don't have a present go away!" Amarwen yelled at the narrator.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Mean while in the common room everyone was planning a surprise party for Amarwen. Wolf and Nemesis, the partners in crime were baking a cake. And not doing a good job of it. Obi-wan, Anakin and Ewarni were using the force to hang decorations and randomly tie up the EDLA people.

Just then, when all was going to plan (Except for the cake which was a little burnt and falling apart) Pulpy walked in….

"What is going on here? What is with the decorations?" He asked. Jedigal walked up to him with a calendar. She pointed to the date.

"28th of February, Amarwen's birthday. Well, well, well, I think I could use this to my advantage." And with a loud POP he disappeared.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Pulpy walked into the EDLA headquarters.

"Now everyone today is Amarwen's birthday so I think we should give her a little party…" he said, this wasn't going to be good.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Amarwen was sick of sulking and went to see what everyone was up to. But as soon as she left her room she was blindfolded and gagged, then knocked out.

:-:-:-:-:-:

Amarwen slowly regained conciseness. Her head throbbed and her sight was a little fuzzy. When she could see properly she saw she was in a dark room lit with candle light. There was a cake with black icing and black candles. Actually everything was black. Amarwen looked down and saw she was dressed in a black puffy ball gown, which she happened to like, a lot.

"Ah so our guest has awoken," came a dark voice and Pulpy walked out of the shadows. Suddenly the whole room was filled with the members of EDLA. "Happy Birthday," Pulpy said in his cold voice and he stalked closer. Amarwen screamed.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Everyone was in the common room waiting for Amarwen. It was 6 at night and there was no sign of her.

"Maybe someone should go check on her?" Eragon said.

So they finally made a decision. Obi-wan, Murtagh and Wolf were going to see if she was alright. So your probably all wondering, why these 3"? well to answer that Obi-wan and Murtagh were her favourite characters and Wolf was unlucky enough to get the shortest straw.

They walked slowly towards her room, an angry Amarwen was very dangerous. When the reached her door they found it partly open and the signs of a fight. They all knew that this was not a good sign. Obi-wan got out a mobile, and you're probably all wondering why Obi-wan has a mobile phone? Well you see when Amarwen took over the Death Star she…

"Get on with it!" They shouted. So Obi-wan gets out his phone and calls the Anakin and tells them everything.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Anakin hung up at the end of the call. This was not good; this was not good at all.

"Everyone, I have bad news. Amarwen is missing and I believe that it was Pulpy and the other members of EDLA. So we are to go and rescue her. I'll lead team A and Obi-wan will lead team B. Ok so here's the plan…

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Team A, lead by Anakin and made up of Ewarni, Darth Sugar, Eragon, Brom, Laia and Jedigal, walked towards the EDLA headquarters armed with water balloons, tooth brushes, lightsabers and any other weapon the had. The were the rescue team.

"Ok, team. You know the plan. Now move, move, move!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Team B slowly stalked through the air vents. This team was lead by Obi-wan and made up of Wolf, Nemesis, Arya, Orik, Han, Amarwen's dragon Type, that had somehow come alive, but that is a different story… and everyone else.

"We've reached the EDLA headquarters, now let's go distract them."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Amarwen was sitting at the head of the table, tied to the chair. They had forced her to sit there as they tried to bribe her to join the dark side. Suddenly there was a creak above her. She looked up to see Obi-wan and Murtagh looking down. Type hovering above them. Then with a blast of the force the vent came crashing down squishing Sauron in the process.

Wolf and Nemesis started killing bad guys left, right and centre with lightsabers, Wolf's whip and Nemesis's pitchfork. Obi-wan killed Voldemart and Murtagh took out some others. Then Anakin and Team A ran in lightsabers and other weapons at the ready. Pulpy crept up behind Amarwen and held his lightsaber at her throat.

"Everybody stop or the girl dies!" He yelled. But before he could kill her and stop the story from continuing Anakin ran up behind them, cut off Pulpy's arms and cut the bounds around Amarwen. _(Insert fighting, EDLA dying, curses and blood) _

Soon the fight was over, not that is was much of a fight. Then all the Jedi, Varden and crazy authoresses went to have a real party and eat the burnt cake made by Wolf and Nemesis, that for some unknown reason had magically turned into a 3 story high vanilla cake covered in mini lightsaber lollies and dragons.

**Amarwen: Thanks for the party!**

**Ewarni: No prob, why are you still wearing the black dress?**

**Amarwen: I think it's cool**.

**Pulpy: Darn you and all crazy authoresses out there. We shall have our revenge!**

**Obi-wan: Shall we kill him?**

**Anakin and Luke: Yes, lets.**

**Obi-wan: After him!!!**

**Wolf: Please review.**

**Nemesis: And you shall get an imaginary piece of leftover cake!**


	7. ToDo List

**Amarwen: Greetings! Today is the day when I bring in all the people that have entered my comps, asked to be in my story etc. These people will only be in this chapter, except if I bring them into another.**

**Pulpy: Oh no! Not more crazy authoresses and an author. **

**Amarwen: So joining me, Wolf, Nemesis, Darth Sugar, Jedigal and Ewarni are.... Darth Greave (who wishes to go by Josh), Sweettyamiyugigirl (Sweety), PadawanJesselinFett (JesselinFett), Jedi Squirrel, Stabbythings and WereCatsRule (WereCat).**

To-Do list

Amarwen was sitting at her desk. Type, her dragon, asleep beside her. She was writing a to-do list. If you want to know how I know this well to bad. So far on the list was:

Torture Pulpy

Build something with paddle pop sticks

Replace Galbatorix's clothes with girl ones

Torture Pulpy

Set Pulpy on fire

Build a cheese mine

When Pulpy walks past yell "Hide your lunch money!"

Dye a stick red and run around the Jedi temple

Torture Pulpy

Wake Luke up by throwing water on him

Get some bunnies to eat Moldymort

Use Saphira as a can opener

Steal everyone's left sock

Torture Pulpy

Paint Pulpy's room pink.

Insert something here

...

There was a lot to do, but not enough crazy people to help her with it. So she did the only thing she could do. She picked up her phone... and threw it at the opposite wall, waking Type in the process.

Just then Amarwen clapped twice. If you don't know why she did this, it was to turn on the light bulb over her head. She picked up her phone which was surprisingly undamaged and made a few phone calls.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Obi-wan and Brom were sitting in the common room. Isn't it interesting that it's always the common room? Why is it always the common room? Anywho... suddenly 6 people popped out of no where. About 2.78 seconds later, Amarwen, Wolf, Nemesis, Darth Sugar, Ewarni and Jedigal walked in.

"What took you guys so long?" Amarwen asked.

"We just got off the phone from you, so don't ask us 'What took you guys so long?'" One of the people, a boy said.

Obi-wan walked up and asked the question all of you people out there are thinking.

"Who are all these people?"

"Well," Wolf said, "Amarwen has created this to-do list but we couldn't do it all so we have invited over some others to help." As Wolf talked Nemesis held up a list. Then everyone ran out laughing.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Wolf and Nemesis crept down the hall. They were doing number 5. That's right they were going to set Pulpy on fire. They snuck into his room and found him playing a video game. Slowly, so slowly in fact they crossed the 15m room in 2 seconds they walked up behind him and Wolf tipped a very flammable liquid on him.

"What the hell is this stuff!" Pulpy screamed in a very high pitched voice.

"Oh, it's nothing." They said, then Nemesis lit a match, threw it at him and they legged it out the door.

_On the other side of the Death Star..._

BOOM!

"The rebels are attacking!" yelled out a random officer, and they prepared for a fight that wasn't going to happen.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Josh and Sweety had decided to do number 10, wake Luke up by throwing water on him.

They had a big bucket of water and were looking at the map Amarwen had given them.

"His room is that way," Sweety said, pointing one way.

"No, the map clearly says it's that way," Josh said pointing in the opposite direction.

_3 hours 26 min and 35.46 seconds later._

"Wait," Josh said, "Maybe it is that way."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Obi-wan, after watching all the crazy people having fun decided to join in. Forcing, Anakin, Arya and Eragon to join in as well. He didn't feel like being the only sane person doing these crazy things.

So he had decided to do number 15. Paint Pulpy's room pink. He had gone to the hardware store on the 2nd floor of the Death Star and bought all the pink paint they had. Which was surprisingly a lot. He was now standing painting the last wall pink.

"What are you doing?!" Pulpy yelled as he walked in. He was wrapped in bandages from earlier that day when Wolf and Nemesis had set him on fire. Despite this Pulpy activated his lightsaber and charged. Let's say the fight didn't last long and our favourite sith lord was sent back to the hospital wing.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Now it was Amarwen's turn. She had decided to do number 13. Steal everyone's left sock.

She was in the vents, crawling from room to room. So far she had the left socks of Pulpy (She had dropped in when Obi-wan was painting Pulpys room), Luke, Anakin, Eragon and the other Eragon characters, most of the Jedi, the crazy authoresses, all of the crew and the members of EDLA. She had been quite disturbed to find out that Sauron's had little cats on them and Moldymort's said 'I wuv you'.

Now all she had to do was steal Obi-wan's, but the problem was he had hidden them when he read the list and now she didn't know where they were.

Humming the Mission Impossible theme she jumped down from the vent into his room. It was all neat and tidy with plenty of spots to hid socks.

_4 hours later_

Amarwen still couldn't find his socks. She had looked under the bed, in every draw and cupboard, even in his spare boots. But they were nowhere to be found. She had trashed Obi-wan's room, which he wasn't going to be happy about. One of the only places left was between the cushions on his couch. She walked over, though leaped and jumped over everything would be more accurate.

Amarwen lifted up the cushions and there was..... nothing.

"Dang! How can finding some socks be so hard?" That's when it hit her and she ran off to find Obi-wan.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

_Meanwhile..._

"It's this way," Josh insisted

"No if we go that way we will end up in the kitchen." Sweety replied. They were still arguing about which way Luke's room was. At this moment Nemesis ran past.

"Which way is Luke's room?" Sweety asked.

"Down the left hall, 3rd door on the right, Nemesis said, and then ran away.

"I told you so!" Josh yelled.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Eragon was looking for Saphira, he had been chosen to compete task 12, Use Saphira as a can opener. He had an armful of cans filled with various things. He rounded a bend and Saphira was there.

"Aaarrgg!!! Saphira don't creep around like that, Eragon said, while picking up the cans he had dropped.

_I wasn't creeping around I was just sitting here, and what are you doing with all those cans?_

"I need to open them, but I can't, can you?"

Saphira sighed, there were a lot of cans but she had to help her rider.

_2064 cans later._

_Is that all? I'm hungry. _

"Just one more" Eragon said as he held pout the last can. Saphira grabbed it in her teeth and used them to puncture a hole on it.

"Now we're done!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Pulpy walked down the hall, looking for Nemesis, Wolf and Obi-wan. Suddenly Jedigal jumped out from around a corner.

"Hide your lunch money!!!" she yelled and ran off. And if you can't tell Jedigal did number 7.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Anakin held a model of the Eiffel Tower made out of paddle pop sticks. He had been forced, literally forced with the force, into this crazy to-do list thing by Obi-wan, but he at least he was able to choose what he got to do. Number 2 didn't seem so dangerous, all he had to do was build something out of paddle pop sticks.

Just then a very scared looking Josh and Sweety ran past followed by a wet, angry Luke with his lightsaber activated.

"Phew, I'm so glad I didn't have to do number 10. Everyone knows Luke doesn't like being woken up."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Darth Sugar and Jedi Squirrel had gotten number 6, Build a cheese mine. So now they were on the moon trying to mine cheese.

"Remind me again Darth Sugar, Why are we on the moon to mine cheese?"

"Well everyone knows the moon is made of cheese so what better place to mine cheese then to do it on a planet that is made of cheese."

They kept digging and digging until they hit the centre of the moon.

"Jedi Squirrel?"

"Yes?"

"I think they got it wrong when they said the moon is made of cheese."

"I think so too." And they went back to the Death Star without any cheese.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Obi-wan heard the whooshing of a door and suddenly felt a lightsaber against his throat.

"Take of your socks, Obi-wan," Amarwen whispered "I know where you hid them, you put them one your feet so I couldn't take them."

"Never!" He said.

"Then I will do what I must," and she knelt on the ground, keeping him in place with the force, took off his left boot and took off all his socks. She counted out 14, the exact amount of left socks he had.

"Why are you doing this? Give me back my socks!"

"Nope," and Amarwen patted him on the head and ran out laughing. She ran all the way to her room and went inside. Her room was full of socks. Socks covered every surface. Amarwen grinned, she had finally finished her task.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

StabbyThings and JesselinFett had just arrived back at the Death Star after buying nearly every bunny they could afford. They slipt into Voldemorts room and put the bunnies under his bed and crept out.

_On the other side of the Death Star about an hour later_

"HELP! THEY'RE EATING ME! OH! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!" StabbyThings and JesselinFett smiled.

:-:-:-:-:-:

Ewarni had just been dropped of in front of the Jedi Temple. She looked down at the paper that said what her task was.

_Number 8: Dye a stick red and run through the Jedi Temple_

She ran to the nearest tree and ripped of a branch. Then she found a tin of red paint and painted the stick. She walked into the Jedi Temple with the stick behind her back. Then she started to run, waving it around. Jedi everywhere activated their lightsabers and started chasing after her, yelling about a Sith in the temple. Soon every Jedi in the temple had her surrounded. With a loud 'Pop' Ewarni vanished and reappeared on the Death Star, laughing he head off.

:-:-:-:-:-:

WereCats and Arya were standing inside Galbatorixs wardrobe. They had a great time with their task. They had gotten task 3: Replace Galbatorixs clothes with girl ones. WereCats and Arya had been shopping that morning and then as soon as they returned to the Death Star they had burnt all of Galbatorixs clothes and put lots of pink and frilly clothes in their place.

:-:-:-:-:-:

Everyone had completed their task and was sitting in the common room, again why is it always the common room? Moving on... Nobody was wearing left socks, Luke was soaked, Saphira was staying as far away from cans as possible and there was no cheese. Just then Voldemort walked in covered in bite marks. A few bunnies were still hanging of him. Galbatorix was wearing a pink, frilly dress with bows and Pulpy was burnt from both fire and Obi-wans lightsaber.

"Oh, cute bunny!" Amarwen said as she reached for a black bunny. "I'm going to call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy."

"We will get our revenge, we shall make our own to-do list!" and they walked out.

:-:-:-:-:-:

_2 weeks later_

All the people that weren't in the Death Star full time had gone home after the EDLA members had sworn to get their revenge, which hadn't happened yet.

"Well I don't think they are going to do there whole revenge thing," Obi-wan said and everyone agreed with him. "Can I have my socks back?"

**Amarwen: So what did you, my lovely readers think?**

**Eragon: Every reviewer will get one of the bunnies that bit Voldemort.**

**Voldemort: Bunnies... So EVIL!!**

**Obi-wan: I really would like my socks back. Amarwen gave everyone's back but not mine.**

**Amarwen: This is what happens if you hide them in the first place.**

**Obi-wan: So if you find them please can you give them back.**

**Amarwen: Well that all for tonight. Did anyone notice the Finding Nemo quote? Yes? No? Maybe? And I have created a FaceBook group called E.D.L.A (Evil Dark Lord Association). (See chapter 1). Pulpy forced me to make it so they can get more members. So join! (Yes I really did create this group,) Goodnight, or morning, or whatever time it is.**

**Everyone: Bye!**

**Galbatorix: I HATE PINK!!!!**


	8. Boomerangs and Marshmellows

**Amarwen: Good Morning/afternoon/evening or whatever time it is where you live! **

**Obi-wan: It's night here.**

**Amarwen: Good observation. **

**Saphira: Amarwen doesn't own Star Wars, Eragon or Pulpy.**

**Pulpy: If she did there probably wouldn't be any of me left.**

Of Boomerangs and marsh mellows:

It was a peaceful day on the Death Star. Everything was quiet, to quiet. Obi-wan walked down the halls, not sure if they were safe. God knows where Amarwen and the others were. He hears a noise and spins around, his heart pounding as he reaches for his lightsaber...

"Will you shut up!!!? I can't concentrate with you talking all the time!!!!" Obi-wan yelled.

"Who are you talking to?" Eragon asked as he walked out of a near by room.

"The voice"

"Dude, there are no voices."

"But" Obi-wan said, wanting Eragon to believe him.

"Maybe you should get some help. Normal people don't hear voices that aren't there."

"But..."

Saphira crawled out of the room. _Eragon, leave the insane Jedi alone. Just let him think the voices are there._

As they walked away Obi-wan looked at the ceiling. "Look what you did!!!"

At that moment Amarwen came sprinting down the hall. A strange stick in her hand.

"Obi-wan guess what!" she gasped as she picked herself off the ground where she had run into a wall.

"The sky is falling?"

"No! Even better! I found a boomerang!" She held out the stick, it was curved and was brightly painted.

"It's a stick." He said, what was so wonderful about a stick. He didn't know how wrong he was.

"When you throw it, it will come back, watch!" and Amarwen through the boomerang and it disappeared around the corner.

"Maybe I didn't throw it right," she whispered to herself.

Suddenly over the loud speaker came Nemesis's voice. "Amarwen, we have a problem, a big problem."

An ear splitting squeak filled the Death Star and moments later Wolf started talking.

"And by a big problem she means, the world will end if you don't get here in 3 seconds. Oh and we found some pie."

"If you would excuse me Obi-wan," Amarwen said as she dashed to the control room.

And poor, insane Obi-wan was left in the hall all alone. And out of no where the boomerang came back around the corner and knocked him out.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Amarwen walked into the control room. All officers stopped work, stood up and saluted. She walked to a raised platform, shoes making no noise on the floor. On the platform were five high backed chairs, similar to the one Pulpy sat on at the end of ROTJ but much more comfy and they looked better. Four of the chairs had people sitting on them. These people were Nemesis, Wolf, Jedigal and Ewarni. There names printed on the back. Each chair matched the authoress's lightsaber colour.

"What is the problem?" Amarwen asked, she sat in her chair, Type came and curled on her lap, like a cat.

Jedigal spoke, "First, Pulpy is ugly and stupid. Second, we are out of all foods containing, sugar and caffeine. We believe this is EDLA's doing as giant marsh mellows have been sighted rolling around making the Death Star all sticky."

"How did these marsh mellows come about." Ewarni snapped her fingers and a man ran forward.

"This man says that Pulpy ordered some chemicals about a week ago."

"That would explain the explosions and the burnt smell," Nemesis said.

"So here's the plan..."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Again the common room was filled with all the full time, good characters from Star wars and Eragon. Which was only seven people. With a load 'pop' The girls appeared. Someone screamed, someone that sounded a lot like Murtagh.

"Ok men!" Amarwen called out.

"I'm a girl," Arya said.

_As am I, _thought Saphira.

"Fine," Wolf said, taking over, "Listen up, ladies and jellyspoons. EDLA is planning to strike."

A flat screen TV lowed down from the ceiling. Ewarni held a remote in her hands.

"We believe," Amarwen said, pushing Wolf aside, " that Pulpy is planning to take over the world and turn it into a sugar land. Not that this is bad."

"Yes it would be! You lot would be even more crazy!" Luke shouted. Jedigal walked up to him and knocked him out with the end of a flamethrower.

"These delicious foods have been turned into evil servants for EDLA." As Amarwen talked images came up on the TV screen, suddenly a picture of Edward Cullen came up.

"It burns," Wolf and Nemesis screamed while trying to hide behind each other.

"Oops, sorry." Ewarni apologised. "This is Amarwen's hate folder."

"Anyway, you get the point. Now lets go eat some sugar.!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Pulpy sat in a chair, holding a candy cane in his hand. All around him lolly servants were working. Suddenly, with a load bang, The good guys appeared.

Wolf whispered to Nemesis, "Looks like it's time to fight sugar with sugar," and pulled out her liquorice whip.

"For Frodo!" Amarwen screamed and ran forward, the others just behind. The two sides met and screams could be heard from both side and Anakin shouting, "Time to toast marsh mellows!"

The fight continued. Suddenly the Ra'zac came in.

"Bro, I thought you killed them," Murtagh said as he dodged a blow from Voldemort.

"So did I!" Eragon called back.

Everything was in chaos. Then Obi-wan, the most sane of the lot, started eating their enemies. Everyone stopped and looked at him. Then the good guys grinned and started eating.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Many hours later, Anakin, Luke and Eragon lay down, feeling like they were going to throw up.

"I'm never eating again!" Groaned Luke.

"At least you don't have a dragon that ate her own weight in sugar," Eragon said and looked over at Saphira. Who was laying on the ground, twitching.

"Is she all right?" Anakin asked.

"Yup, just the sugar is really making her high."

At that moment, the crazy five came running over, still eating, even though EDLA had fled when they had started eating their minions.

"Sugar!' They cried and started jumping around, ending up 20m in the air.

"This isn't going to be good," Eragon, Luke and Anakin groaned.

**Amarwen:*still on sugar high* Sugar is good, sugar is sweet, Sugar is all I want to eat!**

**Jedigal: Sugar is great, sugar is fun, you should all try some.**

**Nemesis, Wolf and Ewarni: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar is good! Sugar! Sugar! Is the best food!**

**Obi-wan: *Shakes head* Make it stop!!! *Gets knocked out by a boomerang***

**Amarwen, Wolf, Nemesis, Ewarni and Jedigal: SUGAR!!!!**

**Anakin: Yes it's a short chapter, but please review and you will get one of the Sugar Minions to eat!  
**


	9. Micro Chips Part 1

**Pulpy: Help! Someone help me! I'm getting attacked by mini dragons.**

**Type: **_**Leave him alone he will give you diseases. **_

**Amarwen: Today we will be visiting my command centre for my world domination plan.**

**Sauron: Amarwen doesn't own Star Wars, Eragon or any character in this story that doesn't belong to her.**

Chapter 9: Micro chips

Type lay sleeping on Amarwen's bed when suddenly 'BOOM!!!!' and Amarwen came running in.

_What is going on?_

"Lets just say if we don't get out of here quick we are both dead." Amarwen panted as she hurriedly packed some things. "Type, execute order 1"

:-:-:-:-:-:

Now you are all wondering why is Amarwen running away...

(Flash Back)

Amarwen walked down the hall, or bounced would be more accurate. Anyway as she bounced down the hall she came across something you never want to see..... The door to Pulpy's room. Inside came hushed voices.

"How are we going to change the girls?" Said on voice.

"You know what happened last time we tried to change Amarwen."

"We have no choice, but I have a new weapon, micro chips that when inserted under the skin turns the most crazy and insane of people sane and normal. And they will forget who they are and will believe they are our apprentices. Tonight we strike!"

Amarwen shuddered then made a run for her room.

(End flash back)

So now Amarwen was running down the halls. She got to her ship, which was on the other side of the Death Star, in record time. When she got there she was met by Wolf, Nemesis, Jedigal and Ewarni. All their weapons and armies at hand.

"What's happened?" Wolf asked.

"Yeah, I was practically dragged her by your crazy dragons!" Jedigal yelled.

"No time to explain so I will tell you when we leave. Now hurry up!" Amarwen unlocked her ship with the remote and in a matter of seconds they were gone.

As they sat in hyper space Amarwen explained everything. The others cried out in shock at the mention of the micro chips.

"So you're saying that if these chips are inserted into us we will be sane." Ewarni said as she searched for where she had left her glasses.

"I'm afraid so."

"But being insane is who we are! If they take that away we will be normal!" Nemesis shuddered at the thought. At that moment the ship landed on earth. A house stood not far away.

"Where are we?" Wolf said as she looked around.

"Welcome to my house!!!!" Amarwen cried as she threw her arms in the air. "Pulpy will never find us here. He doesn't know where I live."

Amarwen ran towards the house. And led them to her room.

"Amarwen your room is clean!" Jedigal shouted.

"What? How? Mum!!!!!! She has cleaned my room, I'm never going to find anything!"

"Yes you will." Came a voice from behind them, the crazy authoresses that you all love spun around igniting their lightsabers. Leaning on the door stood Amarwen's mum. "Now you can see the floor, I'm surprised you could find anything in here in the first place."

"Mum," Amarwen groaned face palming, "It might have looked a mess but it was in an order that only I know, and it all had its place. Plus it was an obstacle course made for my fitness."

"Well set your 'obstacle course' in your command centre." And Amarwen's mum turned around and walked away.

"Anyway," Amarwen said and walked over to her wardrobe. She slid it open and pushed the clothes out of the way. At the back of the wardrobe was the top of a big slide. Without a moments hesitation Amarwen had dropped down the slide. The others soon followed. At the bottom they fell into a giant pit of balls. As they climbed out Nemesis, Wolf, Jedigal and Ewarni looked around.

They were in a giant room. Light purple stones covered the wall and floor. A circular control panel was in one corner. Two hallways led from the main room.

Amarwen walked forward, Type flew from a hole on the wall and landed on her shoulder. "Welcome to my control centre! Nobody will find us here. We are six meters under ground."

"This place is huge!" Ewarni said. At that moment a green dragon flew out of the hole and landed on Amarwen's outstretched arm.

"Everyone meet Vanyali Isvanda Malinda Dalavink or Vanyali she sometimes goes as Lili. She is Types twin sister. She stays here and makes sure everything is running smoothly."

"Does Type have a name that long?" Nemesis asked.

"Type's full name is Type Azarnath Elovera Vivairra. I have many dragons like her. Most make up my army but a few help keep down here clean and running. We'll show you around."

An alarm sounded and suddenly Type and Vanyali grew to ten times their normal size. When they realized the alarm was because the dishwasher had finished the shrunk to their normal size.

"I didn't know they could do that." Wolf said surprised.

"All my dragons can, there just wasn't enough room on the Death Star. Give me a second and we can go for the tour!" Amarwen walked over to the control panel. She pressed a few buttons and multicoloured steel doors came down seeling the entrance. "Now only a few people can enter."

Amarwen lead them down the hall on the left. Here the walls weren't made of stone but were a nice yellow wall. They stopped outside the first room. The door on the left side of the hall. The name Wolf was painted on.

"Why is my name on the door?" she asked.

"Well you see, because I didn't know when we might have to hide down here a had rooms prepared for you a long time ago. Amarwen opened the door and they all walked inside. Everything was silver and blue. The for posted bed with silk sheets. The matching pillows, even the ensuite was tiled silver and blue. On one wall was a row of holders that could hang Wolf's weapons.

The next room was directly across the hall. This door said Nemesis. The room was nearly identical to Wolfs but the colours were Green and Blue.

"How did you afford all this?" Ewarni asked.

"Well when you can use the force anything is possible."

The next room said 'Dragons Den'. Amarwen opened the door and the room was filled with dragons. Pillow nests lined shelves along one wall. Each nest had a dragons name on it. Another wall had bowls of food and water. There was everything a dragon could want. Everyone walked into the room.

"You know the hole that Type and Vanyali flew out of. It's the opening of a tunnel that joins this room, to some of the others. There is also a tunnel the leads straight to the surface. Now to the next room!"

The tour continued. Amarwen showed them the Hatching room where all the eggs sat on pillows, the breeding room, but you can probably guess what goes on in there. Wolf nearly fell into one of the many trap s. Ewarni and Jedigal were shown their rooms. Jedigal's was Red and Gold and Ewarni's was Purple and Yellow. Finally they got back to the main room.

"Now, we need to find out about the chips. This mean we will need Google, Obi-wan and one of the chips." Ewarni walked over to the control panel and hit the large red button that said 'Bring Jedi and others here'. With a 'POP!' Obi-wan, Anakin, Luke, Eragon and Saphira appeared.

"Guys we have a problem!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Anakin, Luke and Eragon walked down the hall of the Death Star. They had been given the job of getting one of the chips. They stood in front of Pulpy's door and looked inside. Empty.

"This is easy!" Whispered Luke.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Anakin replied, "This is to easy, even for Pulpy."

They crept inside and suddenly alarms were going off and Pulpy stalked into the room. Which isn't a pretty sight.

"So you have come for this?" He said as he held up the chips. The Jedi and Rider attacked. Let's say it didn't go for very long. And the good guys ran away with the chips. Pulpy smiled.

"Just as I planned!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Back at the control centre Nemesis was eating pie, Wolf was sleeping, Jedigal was raiding the fridge and Ewarni was in the Dragons Den.

Anakin, Luke and Eragon popped into the room. "We have the chips go get Amarwen."

At that moment a scream echoed around the room. Everyone ran to Amarwen's room where they found the door had been knocked down. Pulpy stood over Amarwen as he placed on of the chips in her arm. Her hair turned midnight black and her eyes turned Violet. She stood up and looked around.

"Aaahhh, my young apprentice how do you feel?"

"Fine Master."

"Now rise my young apprentice, you shall be Darth.... Ivy"

Darth Ivy bowed.

**Wolf: No! Amarwen!**

**Nemesis: In your reviews tell us what you would like Darth Ivy to be like. And there will be a comp. Tell us how Darth Ivy should turn back to Amarwen and the best will be put into the story. **


	10. Micro Chips Part 2

**Obi-wan: This is the first disclaimer without Amarwen. **

**Nemesis: So who will say it?**

**Ivy: Who is this Amarwen that you are talking about?**

**Wolf: This is going to take forever to turn her back!**

**Anakin: All the ideas to turn Amarwen back were brilliant. So we are going to try as many of them as possible until we get her back.**

**Murtagh: And all of us here apologize for the long wait. Amarwen has had lots of stuff on at school and at home. And as there are lots of guests in this chapter, it takes awhile to get information etc back from them. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. **

**Luke: There are also a few full time authoresses joining. These are... Shadow (Wolf of Cair Paravel) who is Amarwen's Randawan and Pretty-Cat (Pretty-Cat25).**

**Eragon: Amarwen... or Ivy... or whoever she is doesn't own Star Wars, Eragon, EDLA or anything really.**

Micro chips part 2

(Darth Ivy Bowed)

"Now, my evil apprentice, we have work to do," and in a flash of light, Pulpy and Ivy were gone.

Wolf, Nemesis, Ewarni and Jedigal looked at each other.

"We're going to need backup!" Wolf said as she pulled out a phone and started dialling numbers.

"Put the Command Centre on... what's the highest alert we have?" Nemesis asked.

"Sane alert." Ewarni answered.

"Ok put the Command centre on Sane alert! All persons to battle stations!" Nemesis continued to yell as she walked over to the control panel and sat with the others, put on a set of headphones that were multicoloured and got ready for battle.

"Dibs being leader of Sugar Team!" Jedigal yelled.

"Damn I wanted that one," Ewarni yelled back.

"Back up is on the way!" Wolf said as cheers filled the room. "And we need more coffee and sugar, Pulpy destroyed it all."

Ewarni waved a hand over to the other characters. "Obi-wan, Luke, Anakin, don't just sit there. Off you go to get more supplies."

After much running around, drinking coffee and eating sugary foods all the teams were nearly ready.

Wolf sighed, "In the name of all that is made of sugar, if the others don't-"

A bright flash filled the room. And a bunch of people appeared.

"Blaze! What took you guys so long?"

A girl with brown hair and eyes stepped forward.

"Sorry, but there was a traffic jam."

"And we stopped for pizza!" A boy that everyone identified as Darth Greave (No he's not a sith) stepped forward.

"Yes," Blaze continued, "We stopped for pizza."

"And we ended up taking a wrong turn" a girl (CookieLivCat but will be going by the name of Olive) butted in.

"Yes, yes yes, we are all here now and that's what matters." Jedigal said, "Now everyone get into groups, this battle is going to be messy"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Darth Ivy walked down the hall of the Death Star. She stopped outside a door. The word 'Amarwen' was painted on it in green. Suddenly Galbatorix stepped out of the shadows. Why is it always the shadows? But it would be weird if they walked out of the bright sunlight. Ahem, moving on...

"Is there something wrong Lady Ivy?" he asked.

"No, just the name on the door is familiar, but I don't know where I have seen it before. And I want to know why there is a drawing of a muffin, eating pie with chopsticks, drawn on the door."

"I don't know. Well you had better got going, your Master wishes to see you," and Galbatorix walked away.

Ivy sighed, ever since becoming Sidious's apprentice all he had her do was work, work, work, cook, work, do the washing, work, feed animals etc. He was now trying to find a way to clone her. When Galbatorix had rounded the corner, she quickly entered the room. Clothes, books and God knows what covered every surface. A jar full of everything sugary was sitting on the table.

Suddenly an image of a girl hurriedly packing her bags filled her mind. A small, blue dragon sitting beside her. Darth Ivy shook her head. The room suddenly felt small, she turned around and left to see what her Master wanted.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

The command centre was overflowing. Everyone was getting up to date on the latest news. Wolf, Nemesis, Ewarni, Blaze, and Jedigal stood in front of a giant TV. Each had a candy cane stick in their hand.

"Now," said Nemesis, "We are facing the greatest threat ever. If we do not succeed in the coming battles insanity will no longer exist."

Gasps and cries of horror filled the room. Someone shouted 'No! the Oompa Lompa's won't have it!'.

Ewarni stepped forward, "As you all know, Amarwen has been the first to fall in this war. Our job is to get her back. To do this we will need to capture Darth Ivy." A picture of Darth Ivy came up on the screen.

"I thought Amarwen became Darth Ivy a few hours ago, how did we get a picture of her?" Brom asked

"There are security cameras all around the place, idiot," Padawan Jesselin Fett said, waving at a camera.

"Anyway," Blaze continued. "No harm is to come to her, Amarwen is in there somewhere. She has been taken over by a micro chip created by Darth Pulpy." A picture of the micro chip appeared on the screen.

Wolf pointed to the chip with her candy cane stick, which was half eaten. "We have to get that chip out of her. Many may die today but it's for a cause worth fighting for. So who's with us!"

*Crickets*

Jedigal walked forward. "Wolf will be in charge of Insane team, Nemesis is in charge of Coffee, Blaze is in charge of Caffeine, Ewarni is in charge of Lemonade and I am in charge of Sugar. Normally Amarwen would be in charge of Lollipop but due to what has happened she can't lead it. Everyone will split into these 5 groups and may the insanity be with you."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

By now Ivy was about to strangle the one person we all love to hate. All Pulpy went on about was loyalty, do as she was ordered and some day, should he die, she would take over the Dark Throne and lead EDLA.

Ivy was so lost in thought she hadn't realised she had ended up outside the common room. He had forbidden her from this room for some reason she didn't know. Ivy glanced around and made sure there was nobody in the area and ducked under a silver and black rope that was blocking the door.

The room was empty, a game of Snakes and Ladders had been left in the middle of the game, wrappers where everywhere and a table was on it's side. Another image flashed into her head. The same girl as before scoffing down pizza with a group of girls, Anakin the Traitor, her Masters last apprentice, Obi-wan and some other people.

Suddenly alarms started going off and red lights flashed, her Masters voice came over a loud speaker. "All personnel to stations, arm the weapons, we are under attack! And Ivy, you forgot to put the socks in the washing machine!"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Nemesis glanced around the corner. Her team, which was made up of Anakin, Brom, Murtagh, Greave and Vampyress (Vampyress of Coffee). Oldy Voldy walked down the hall, just as he was about to walk past Nemesis she stuck out her foot and tripped him. Anakin and Greave jumped on his back and tied him with duct tape and hair bands. They then hung him upside down from the ceiling.

"That's what you get for taking our friend!" Vampyress said, while sticking a cucumber in his mouth. And if you didn't know, in this fan fic, Voldy hates cucumber.

"Can we use him as a piñata?" Anakin asked.

"Idiots," Brom said, "We don't have a stick!"

"We could use lightsabers." Vampyress said.

"Lets go," Nemesis ordered, "There are people to save, baddies to beat and food to eat."

"Nemesis, why are you rhyming?" Anakin said.

"I don't know, Coffee team, move out!" and she pointed down a random hallway and they started marching.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Ewarni dropped down from the ceiling of the common room, spy style. She looked up at her team, which was: Yoda, Eragon, Saphira and Nova (Expert SW). Saphira flew down with Eragon on her back, Yoda jumped down and landed on his feet and Nova got caught in the wires, meaning Eragon had to get him down. The plan was for three of the teams to take down Voldy, Galby and Sunny (Sauron).

"Who are we going after?" Eragon asked

"Tracking Galbatorix, we are." Replied Yoda.

At that moment Galbatorix walked in, saw the team, and ran out screaming like a girl. Before he could get far, Nova had shot him with a cheese gun and was stuck to the floor.

_Can I eat him?_ Saphira asked as she smelt him, which caused Galbatorix to try to scream, but it's hard to scream when your mouth is covered in cheese.

"Go ahead," Ewarni said with a wave of her hand. And that was the end of poor Galby... Or was it?

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

While all that happened poor Sunny was walking along, enjoying himself. He looked up at a tree, that for some reason was on the Death Star. Below it was flowers and bees. Suddenly those little bees turned into a big swarm of bees and little Sunny was stung. He ran around screaming in pain when suddenly he ran into the tree, and the beehive dropped down onto his head.

At this moment Blaze and her team: Luke, Nasuada, Olive, Jesselin Fett and Shadow, walked in.

"Damn there goes all the fun!"Luke cried.

Olive walked up to him and hit Sunny over the head with a big maths textbook.

"Lets be nice to him" Shadow said, and she got rid of all the bees with her can of raid, but then went and released all the animals from the zoo, so little Sunny got trampled on. Then Nasuada hung him from a washing line by his thumbs.

Let's say little Sunny wasn't feeling so bright.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Pulpy wasn't very happy that Ivy had forgotten to put the socks in the washing machine. It was little things like this that showed that Amarwen was still in her. Ivy walked in the door.

"I am very disappointed in you, my young apprentice." He said so calmly it was scary.

"I am sorry my Master, but it is not my fault that Sauron hid them."

"Well next time find them! Anyhoo, some rebels are attacking and I want you to exterminate them!"

"You're starting to sound like a Dalek, Master. Next thing we know the Doctor will come in his TARDIS."

Pulpy sighed, "No more watching TV for you. Now run along and kill some rebels, and later order some pizza. It's Voldemorts turn to cook."

Ivy left her Master and ran down the hall. Red lightsaber in hand. She didn't have to go far before she was tackled by a group of people. She pushed them off, stood up and ignited her lightsaber.

"Amarwen!" Pretty-Cat cried, running up to her only to get force pushed back.

Wolf stepped in front, "Insane team stay back, remember this isn't Amarwen. Now get her!" And once again Ivy was tackled to the ground, was tied up with a whole lot of duct tape, put in a gift box, (Complete with ribbon) and mailed back to the control centre, with a card wishing Obi-wan a Happy Birthday.

"It's not my birthday!" Obi-wan, who was part of insane team, cried.

"Well Merry Christmas," Arya said.

"It's not Christmas!"

"Happy Easter!" Stabbythings shouted, from where she was trying to fit the gift into the post box, that just happened to be in that hallway.

"It's not- oh I give up," Obi-wan sighed.

Wolf walked over to the pay phone. "Beam us up!" she said and everyone disappeared in a puff of smoke and glitter.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Back at head quarters, sugar team sat at the control panel. Sugar team was lead by Jedigal and was made up of Laia, Angela and Tameera (Tameera the evil one).

All the teams were coming back from their missions, and it was time to turn Ivy into Amarwen. Tameera put up a list of ideas on the big screen.

"Ok, there is: Rip the chip out, Make a crazy chip, do something with Zombies, bacon and a flare gun, feed her lots of sugar and insert idea here. Which one are we going to use?" Jedigal read out.

"I know! We could let our lovely readers decide!" Angela cried while jumping up and down. Much to everyone's amusement.

"Ok, the readers get to decide!"

**Wolf: You heard that, you get to choose which methods we try.**

**Shadow: And if you have an idea of your own, please send it in.**

**Eragon: And we would like to thank the people that gave us the ideas we just listed.**

**Obi-wan: We would list your names but we are too lazy to find out who sent what.**

**Nemesis: So review and you will get another chapter, also thanks to all the guest stars. You will also appear in the next chapter.**

**Ivy: *Points at end note thing* what's this? And what chip and turning stuffy things?**


End file.
